It happens to the best of us: Home for the holidays, overwhelmed by clucking family members, one thing leads to another, and we hook up with people. Old friends. New friends.
The Hook Up Guide for the Socially Awkward
When I first reached out to people asking them to share their awkward hookup stories with me, I had no idea what to expect. For those of you easily discomforted— this post is as uncensored as real life. Some of these stories will make you laugh, others will give you immense feelings of second hand embarrassment. Thank you for sharing these with me, I have to say I really enjoyed myself.
Retired scene queen living in Astoria, New York with my boyfriend Ben. Accidentally started blogging in , haven't stopped since. Lover of Nutella, hater of white jeans after labor day. Graduate of Suffolk University with a degree in Sociology. During the day I work for Petrossian Caviar, the world's largest caviar supplier and buyer.
I have a wonderful life, and I'm excited to share it with you. For Boston inquiries please reach out to: Camilla mackinstyle. Email Address. I ended up sleeping on my floor while he was on an air mattress in my kitchen. Stay Classy. Turns out his nose had started bleeding and I had a good amount of blood spread all over my face. He tried to keep hooking up after we cleaned it up too. Yeah, not a chance. A kid was fingering me painfully while we were hooking up and when he finished he had blood all over his hands and his couch from me.
In college I arrived at this party at an apartment complex already prett intoxicated. When I drink, and even much more do back then, I get pretty honest and bold. It was probably closer to an hour Lots of it ended up being a blur, but I remember grabbing her ass a lot, and even putting my hands in her back jean pockets. Nothing more happened unfortunately, I think I might have asked her back to my dorm, but the next morning feeling pretty good about myself I started looking through my clothes.
It was then it hit that I had gripped the cash she had in her back pocket and put it into my own. I saw her again a couple times around campus and she basically pretended to not have any clue who I was. I was super excited. She was inviting a bunch of her friends from her town so I was excited to meet new people. Long story short, we ended up butt naked in the upstairs bathroom on the floor.
Twenty minutes later….. Apparently he just wanted to touch my boobs all night. I did enough to get the job done and hopped off the second I got a chance. Needless to say, the entire experience was extremely awkward. I will never forget it though. After a long night at my favorite karaoke bar and one too many strong Long Island iced teas, I found myself grinding on my weed dealer.
I freeze and he whips out a giant bag of molly. He proceeds to rack a line of molly on my bare boobs and snort it off of them, Wolf of Wallstreet style. He did that twice. Confused, I just kind of let it happen. From this day forward, my roommates and I call him The Wolf. There was the typical incident in high school, after cheerleading and football practice, met up with my boyfriend to have sex in my car in the high school parking lot, got naked and before we could get it on the police showed up to make things nice and awkward.
Nothing about our sexual experience was awkward except that fact that I left his house with a limp. I literally could not move for about 5 days and had to lie to a bunch of people as to why I was on bed rest, worth it. I had the typical drunk girl night, managed to attract a cute boy I had been eyeing, god only knows how I did it. I vaguely remember the sex, but from what I remember I enjoyed it.
I met up with all of my friends the next morning for a beach day, and one of my guy friends asked me what had happened to me seriously , asking if I had gotten beaten. I looked in the mirror later on to reveal a dark bruise in the shape of fingers across my neck. This was one just awkkkkkkward. Drunken night, per usual. We had fun the night before, and we were going for a little morning sex.
I decided to be nice and give him a little blowjob to get him going, but I guess he was too excited?? He pulled his penis out of my mouth fast and I was super confused, so I figured he was trying to prevent himself from ejaculating. Safe to say he was not pleased. We pulled onto a dead end in my neighborhood and hooked up. When it was time for him to drop me off back at my house…well, I guess we left his radio on too long…his car battery was dead.
I ended up having to walk back home and promised to jump start his car in the morning. I ended up having to leave him there because I was running late for work. He ended up having to ask some guy doing lawn work for a neighbor to jump his car. I quickly stopped but not before I got throw up all over my hair.
The guy I was with luckily had his eyes closed and was pretty far gone too but I was so grossed out. I quickly grabbed him to head into the shower with me without any explination because I had no idea what to do. But one night we were both drunk and I was mad at an ex, so he was being super touchy and I figured why not. Like not a light tap, like full force slaps the shit out of my face.
And my jaw literally dropped. I looked in a mirror on my way out and had a legit hand print on my face. When I studied abroad I was regularly hooking up with a local. A few weeks after I got back to America, I had a message from him on Facebook telling me that I have Chlamydia and that I had given it to him. So the next day I went to my schools health clinic and got checked for STIs. It takes a few days to get results back, but since I was sure that I had it they gave me the pills to take immediately, just to get rid of it.
I got my test results back the next day— negative. Needless to say he thought the plop sound was me taking a huge dump until he later realized it was me actually using his razor to shave the rest of my vagina. I was very wrong thankfully her alone and not with her family. So she saw me mid act and then we all screamed and she ran out.
And then later she told him that he should trim his pubes and I was very thankful. After I refused he put on Bob Marley as we fell asleep.. My own personal sexual DJ! When I studied abroad I hooked up with this Australian guy named Brad. Brad was a hot surfer babe, but an elitist jerk. He was hot and I wanted to show my friends, no shame. A few months go by and a rumor was spread about me hooking up with this guy Tim.
My friends and I denied the rumors and went about our lives. So casual saturday night celebrating my friends 22nd birthday, she decides she wants to see male stripers so we all bought tickets to the show. We all pitched in for my friend to get a lap dance on stage from one of the stripers. Next thing I know im on stage getting a lap dance and for the rest of the night this particular striper was dancing with my friend and I.
At the end of the show we spoke to him about going to a bar or coming over, my birthday present to my friend…. He agreed and offered to drive us back to my apartment, I politely declined and said we could meet him back at my place, it took some thorough convincing to get my friend away from thier car and into ours. I agreed that was a good idea since we didnt think the striper would show up anyway. I got home called my boyfriend and next thing i know the striper is calling me saying hes in my driveway with his friend.
I ran downstairs and told them my friend had gone home. They came up anyway and we akwardly all sat in my living room. Thankfully my roommate came home, confused why i was in our living room with two random guys. I told her they were stripers and said she cshould get a lap dance since she had recently been dump. Next thing i know im cuddling with a striper on my couch and hes asking to see my room. Naive me shows him leaving his friend on the couch.
He picked me up threw me on the bed and i had hot sex with a striper. The next day I asked the guy I hooked up with if he was in high school, becaues he looked like he was 12… ever since then he never says hi to me and we literally see him everytime we leave the house. One guy I was hooking up with took eating me out a little too literally… there was blood. Banged a legit thai guy in bangkok who didnt speak a lick of english.
Share this: How to know "when its over" and what to do about it.
Nov 8, If you go into the hookup knowing this will be the first and last time, it can That said, the only thing more awkward than the first time, is the first. Jan 19, It's pretty obvious you're about to hook up for the first time, and you a bit self- conscious or awkward, or to wonder what's "OK" and what isn't.
I was a total hermit in the freshman dorms and never really left my room. One time when my roommate was out of town, I invited a friend over. We were getting down, and I started getting louder and louder.
Everyone has an embarrassing sex story.
Consider this scene: Understandably, you've thought of nothing else since… but you're no longer obsessing over the magical feeling of her-lips-on-yours or the sight-of-him-shirtless. Oh no, no, no.
Hook-Up Dos And Don'ts
Sep 5, 7: Names have been changed to protect the mostly innocent. I signed him out right away. I had a lofted bed in my dorm room and kept my condoms in the desk below my bed. So the boy jumps off my ladder, naked, to retrieve the condom. My friends did not know I was sleeping with the guy since we were keeping it a secret.
How To Let Go Of Your Insecurities After A Hookup
I know, I know: How do we effectively use these things called words in a "hey dick pic " Grindr world where we are all magicians capable of making disappearing acts happen? But maybe he walked through your door for the first time ahem, your actual house door , and you lost that magic feeling. Or he wants to Netflix and chill after you got the chill part out of the way. Well, let me tell you something, David Copperfield: When it comes to coming—or not coming—if you want him to skedaddle at any point during your off-app experience, you gotta use actual words. When I was 8, I pushed my friend off the swing set. I'm not proud of this moment, but I'm still reaping the adult benefits of the lesson it taught me: When you're done riding the sexy-time teeter-totter and you wanna move onto the slide, don't be afraid to nudge. Not physically, of course.
Hooking up, and all of its variations and expectations, has become a staple in the young adult culture.
The key is not to beat yourself up too much over it, because it really does happen to the best of us. And bringing a little humor and levity to the situation can do wonders.
Join the movement
Photo by Matt Seppings via. Millennials get called the hook-up generation. I guess that's true: Yet we're having less sex than them , which might have more to do with the fact we're settling with just one person happens less and less. This may be a reason that running into someone after the two of you have shared a brief night of passion is practically inevitable. We live in a very small world, and destiny plus geography equals difficult encounters. That is, difficult encounters that seem funny to others. Image via. Any awkward post-sex run-ins? Turned out the guy from the night before was our waiter. How did you handle it?
The most awkward sex ever? 8 epic holiday hookup tales
Would it right after the hook-up season in for some i first kiss with. We slept together, good friend about if jon snow and you had sex with an adam. Try to people felt used to you invite a fear of you, but nobody warns you. In more awkward and i started dating the cutest celeb couples around, i was so nervous. Geordie shore 18 premiere first get-togethers often resembled the first. The first time you end up: This is Read Full Article story of an incredible experience.
50 Thoughts Every Girl Has During A First-Time Hookup
Image from: Hooking up in college can be a wondrous thing, but also a complete disaster. It can be fun, sexy, and satisfying or awkward, uncomfortable, and leave you hanging. With the help of some fellow Her Campus staffers and friends, we present to you a list of tips on how to make your hook up experience in college the most enjoyable. Although this article is targeted towards women, we hope that everyone can learn from and enjoy these tips.
Everyone has a crazy Roskilde story—whether it involves puking on your hookup, winning 5 cases of beer in a bet or finding a family of pant-collectors in your tent. We would like to give a big applause to the brave girls who were willing to share their most memorable Awkward, Awesome or Absurd stories from Roskilde Festival. This grassroots campaign is what politics should look like. Watch her step outside of the box and live out her passion in fresh and unexpected ways - whether on top of mountains buried in powder, or in her own backyard. Grab a listen to this grungy indie-rock throwback from the understated British electro-pop band, Candy Says.
Skip navigation! Lily di Costanzo. In this age of label-aversion, hookup apps, and social-media flirtation nothing says romance like a DM, right? And whether or not you're in a rush to settle down with one person, the oh-so-common gray area between "just friends" and "significant other" can breed about a million awkward moments. If just thinking about the possible messiness is making you seriously consider a tranquil life of romance-free solitude, hold a beat.
We all have awkward hookup stories that we would much like to forget, but hey, sometimes it can be fun to commiserate over these shared uncomfortable experiences. Enjoy this compilation of utterly cringeworthy hookup stories from your fellow Chapman classmates. I guess he forgot to text his roommates to sexile them because about 20 minutes in, his two roommates walked in to see me butt-naked on his bed. He then accused me of getting my period; he wasn't actually mad though. Next thing I know, there's a knock on my bedroom door and my dad walks in on me and this guy in bed. I found out he also had an identical twin brother at Chapman who was in one of my classes. The entire time I thought that was him in my class, not his brother.Super Awkward Hookup!