Dating your wife
Open In App. The biggest hindrance to date night is rarely a lack of desire. But the truth is that the time spouses spend together is the best investment we can make with our time, our money, and our energy. Proverbs 5: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Dating Your Wife with Kids Under Five
There's a myth about marriage after you have kids. It goes something like this: After you reproduce, the romance dies, and you and your partner slowly grow to hate each other until your lives are the basis for a Lifetime murder mystery. There's a reason the spouse is always the first suspect, and it usually involves laundry. Fold it right to save a life. But every marriage can't turn out like that. For starters, Lifetime doesn't have the budget.
More importantly, bringing a child into your life doesn't lead to spousal homicide — at least not always. If having one kid destroyed love and lust in a marriage, the world would be full of only children. But there are plenty of families with two or three or — gasp — even four kids. Clearly at least some procreation is still going on. So what's the secret to keeping the romance alive and both partners unmurdered, even on laundry day?
Enter dating. Contrary to popular belief, it still exists after you get married and have kids. Its purpose is just a little different. Before you get married, you date to find someone whose flaws you can grudgingly tolerate for the rest of your life. But after you get married, you date to reaffirm that putting up with those flaws is still worth it. Romantic evenings together remind you of why you fell in love in the first place and why disposing of a body is more trouble than it's worth.
Not that dating is easy after you have kids. Children take up all of your time, no matter how much or little you have. You and your partner have to somehow squeeze romance into the remaining zero minutes of the day. All you have to do is change the definition of a date. And also hungry and poor. There's nothing more un-American than paying top dollar for small portions. Formal dinner dates create too much pressure to have fun. You have to clear your schedule, make a reservation, and line up a babysitter for a predetermined block of time when you must enjoy yourself enough to justify the costs.
You could have just stayed home and been let down for free. A date can be anytime you pay attention to each other and ignore your kids. One of my favorite stay-home "dates" is when my wife and I put our four daughters to bed, open a bottle of wine or three , and watch HGTV. There's nothing more life-affirming than laughing together at an adult throwing a temper tantrum over the color of their backsplash. It makes us worse people but a better couple, and we're both okay with that. It's what makes our marriage work.
That sound you hear is countless millennials shuddering in terror at the hell that is my life. But my wife and I have no regrets, or at least I don't. If she does, she hasn't killed me yet. I take my continued survival as a ringing endorsement. There are countless other dates that could save your life without forcing you to hire a babysitter:.
These aren't perfect solutions, but there's no such thing as perfect when you're married with kids. It's literally the least you can do. I don't always stick to the bare minimum. Sometimes my wife and I leave the house for real dates. For our tenth anniversary gift, we got a hotel room and a table at the most exclusive restaurant in town.
The important thing isn't where you go or what you do but who you're with. At least that's what I told myself when I paid the dinner bill, which was more than my car payment. The truth is kids don't wreck marriages. Adults do. Neglecting your partner will destroy your relationship, regardless of if you have too many kids or none at all.
That's why I'll never skip date night, even if most of our dates are a tad untraditional. Our date tonight, for example, consisted of me frantically finishing an overdue article about date nights while my wife angrily glared at me from across the room. It didn't bother me. James Breakwell is a professional comedy writer and amateur father of four girls, ages seven and under. His first book, Only Dead on the Inside: Cool Winter Date Activities.
Remember how you felt when you were dating your wife? You couldn't wait to spend time with her. You'd call her on the phone just to see how. Men, you need to come up with your own ideas for how to date your wife. You know your wife better than anyone else. Only you know how to best cultivate and .
Readers like you contribute to Aleteia's Mission. In fact, studies show that just two years into marriage, couples report that their relationship has become stale and boring. Enter this brilliant idea on how to go on a real first date with your spouse in a video from blogger Kristina Kuzmic. They love how it provides a creative way to get to know each other better, even after their years of marriage. After all, as life goes on, our schedules get busier and busier.
It was wise counsel that my wife and I heard when we were first married. As the years have happily rolled on by, it still stands as the best way I know of to date and keep the romance alive.
Men, you need to come up with your own ideas for how to date your wife. You know your wife better than anyone else. Only you know how to best cultivate and guard the woman God has given you.
Dating Your Spouse
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Date Your Wife
There's a myth about marriage after you have kids. It goes something like this: After you reproduce, the romance dies, and you and your partner slowly grow to hate each other until your lives are the basis for a Lifetime murder mystery. There's a reason the spouse is always the first suspect, and it usually involves laundry. Fold it right to save a life. But every marriage can't turn out like that. For starters, Lifetime doesn't have the budget. More importantly, bringing a child into your life doesn't lead to spousal homicide — at least not always.
This week, we answered some fun questions and some more difficult ones. The Fierce Marriage Podcast:
For Couples in Crisis You can still put the pieces back together with Hope Restored.
Date Your Wife
Dating will not just keep you both close to each other, but its positive effects will model a strong and healthy relationship for your children, thus creating a happy home. She is beautiful, smart, and sophisticated. You pursued her like she was royalty: Finally, she became yours. Fast forward to today. She is still the love of your life, but dating her is like running through an obstacle course, and the babies you had together are both delightful and a terror. You hug her and the toddler clings to your leg because they also want a hug. You try to have a conversation and every thirty seconds you get interrupted with someone wanting milk, apple juice, crackers, cheerios, and of course the inevitable diaper change. You make plans to go out for dinner and one of the kids gets sick. Perhaps, at last, you decide on an at-home date and she falls asleep during the first thirty minutes of the movie. But despite this, you, the husband, are her rock star and best friend. Your affirmation and support means the world to her, now more than ever as you raise your children together.
The Best Way to Date Your Spouse
Related Topics: Make a commitment to a weekly date. Below are some ideas that go beyond the usual dinner and a movie. Many involve little or no cost. Not all dates have to involve going out, but if you have young children, getting a break from the kids is a stress release in itself.
Men, you need to come up with your own ideas for how to date your wife. You know your wife better than anyone else. Only you know how to best care for the woman God has given you. Look these ideas over. Act on some of them this month, and let these ideas spur your own creativity for how to help your wife and your marriage flourish. Just as God has put a lot of love and thought into his pursuit of you, we husbands want to put a lot of love and thought into how we pursue our wives. Attend a wedding.
.If You Stop Dating Your Woman…