Ten simple rules for dating my son

Ten simple rules for dating my son

Sorry, still cracks me up Rule One: Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

You know a field is maturing when its early proponents think about retiring or, alas, pass away. So it is with computational biology. At 65, I think about retiring more. Not so much about retirement per se but in terms of what I want to accomplish before I retire and what retirement means to me in the first place. In other words, retirement is complex, and these ten rules probably and hopefully just start a discourse.

How much do I want to continue to mentor younger folk? How do I keep ties with colleagues I like and respect? How can I give back as much as possible to society and a profession that has treated me so well? The focus here is on retirement as an option, not a requirement. After all, emeritus status in academia, government, and industry can typically go on in some form indefinitely. It must also be said ahead of the rules themselves that in drafting the rules and having them reviewed by those acknowledged below, as well as discussing them with colleagues, friends, and family, that I was entering a very personal space.

Efforts to coopt coauthors, which I like to do to provide a broader perspective, resulted in something to diffuse. How individuals think, or indeed choose not to think, about retirement is very personal. As such, the rules are more personal than I would normally write or have written on other subjects. Therefore, it may be that these rules do not resonate with you directly, but I hope they will at least make you think about what retirement means to you.

This would seem key and well covered in the endless retirement literature. This defines your new days. Currently, I rise at around 6 AM, make coffee, and then start on e-mail, preparing a talk or class or editing a paper or grant for a couple of hours before starting my official day. I have done that for many years. What would I fill my days with to replace that? Would I keep doing some of it? Would I sleep in, which I have not done for years?

Would I read, go out walking, go motorcycling, activities I do now but want to do more of? Would I start new activities? My current thought is to start new activities before any major life change with enough vigor to determine whether I like them or not. It seems to me that starting a new lifestyle overnight could be a mistake; such drastic change would be jarring. Instead, it seems sensible to experiment with different options, figure out what you like and spend more time on them leading up to retirement.

For me, that means getting a fix-me-up vintage motorcycle, learning at least one new programming language to be as proficient as my graduate students unlikely , reducing the backlog on my Kindle, and spending more time with family. Inherent in all these desires is the notion of not biting off more than one can chew. For if that is the case, it is business as usual and hence no sense of retirement at all.

If I have to generalize, when looking at my colleagues in industry, government, and academia in many parts of the world, money is, thankfully, often not the major factor in considering if and when to retire. They have frequently been working for a considerable period of time at institutions that have good retirement plans. If you are one of the few people who are young and reading this, let me state what you have heard many times I am sure. Plan your financial future now.

The wonders of compound interest should not be ignored. Financial security will definitely be part of your retirement calculus and that day comes sooner than you think. Without money as a major concern, pro bono activities are more likely to arise as an unpaid consultant, scientific advisory board member, and so on. These activities also allow one to keep up to date with the latest science if one chooses.

Although that can be harder if one does not have access to the closed-access literature offered by universities, etc. Maintaining an adjunct affiliation with an institution that has a closed access journal subscription can address this, but there are often strings attached like requirements to teach. If you are obsessed with accomplishing more, then probably best not to retire at all.

There is also the question of accomplish for whom? If it is for yourself, that might lead to a different path than if it is in service to others. For me, I think about it in terms of whether I have achieved my career goals. In thinking deeply, I realize I never really had specific goals at the outset. Instead, they appeared as I lurched forward from researcher and added mentor, administrator, and institution builder. What remains is to see things through as covered by other rules and to make my list of things yet to do.

See Rule 8. I have told this story to students many times as part of a lesson in life—work balance. When my son was little, he would sit on my lap and hold my head in his little hands and make eye contact. Some 12 years later, my daughter did exactly the same thing. My immediate reaction was to put it down to their shared gene pool. Then one day I had a horrible realization—it was nurture, or lack thereof. That I did not practice what I preach to my students is yet another matter.

Beyond that and in deference to my wife of 35 years is to redress the sacrifices she has made. The partner of a computational biologist, or any scientist for that matter, is one of sacrifice, both professionally and emotionally. Significant redress is long overdue. You are, of course, not obligated to continue working.

However, there are many professional considerations that may affect the calculus: Some of what you impart to colleagues is unique and will be lost but that must be balanced against your own wishes and needs. Try and mitigate what will be lost by nurturing others to take over those responsibilities ahead of time. Of course, this does not just apply at retirement but also when you change jobs or responsibilities. The most important management and leadership skill I have learned over the years is to plan for your successor the day you start a new position.

This makes separation smoother. I am not attempting to speak for anyone but myself, but I think that it is far too presumptuous to think I am contributing anything unique. Over my year career, science in general, and computational biology in particular has become a team sport. The complexity of the work demands no less. We are each part of the solution but not uniquely so. As time passes, individual contributions fade into the fabric that is science past, and only in rare cases will individuals stand out in the eyes of future generations.

I imagine that there are not a great many papers from the seventies or scientists in your field that you can cite or name from that era. Be satisfied to be part of those broad shoulders upon which future scientists will stand. This is a no-brainer, ill-health can strike at any time. Less likely if you have maintained a regime of exercise, good diet, enough sleep, etc.

One question to ask is, if something happens health-wise and I am still working, will I have lost the opportunity to do other things that I will now not be able to do. Planning around that scenario would seem wise. As scientists, we are inquisitive and life-long learners, yet we never have enough time for all the avenues, professional or otherwise, we wish to explore.

For me, those things include one or two reviews that I think should be written, an autobiographical perspective on biomedical data seriously , and a small number of research threads still to be pursued. All can be done at a different pace and likely with a different perspective than when heavily involved in running a research laboratory and institute. What may plague one during a career as a computational biologist—the ability to work at home as easily as working in the lab—now can become an asset.

You can easily keep your hand in but at your own pace and by doing those tasks that one enjoys without the need to write grants or undertake a myriad of administrative tasks. Beyond that, those retired or at least slowed down have told me that completely unexpected pursuits arise, either professionally or otherwise. I am excited to see what interesting opportunities arise and am ready to embrace the unexpected.

This could take many forms and be rewarding. Examples that come to mind are various types of voluntary work, either working for or starting a foundation and mentoring at various levels. There is always a need for free expertise in science, technology, engineering, and medicine STEM. In fact, refer to Rules 1 and 2: Part of your legacy is what you leave in the scholarly literature noting Rule 6.

Much of that is already in order thanks to our journals and practice of publishing. There are data, software, laboratory protocols, course materials, and so on. Are they available and in the best shape for reuse or for passing knowledge forward? At the point of retirement, presumably, one is less concerned about getting credit for hot new science and more about ensuring that knowledge is not lost. There you have it. Most of you probably did not get this far as you are not even close to reaching retirement, and it seems ridiculous to contemplate.

Trust me, when you do get to read to the end, you too will be well aware that retirement comes quick enough. Whatever your later years bring, I hope they are as rewarding as I plan to make mine—someday. If you did get to the end, perhaps you are retired and had the time and inclination to read these rules. Hopefully, you also have the time to comment on them from your own perspective, for as I said at the outset, first, these rules derive from someone who thinks about retirement but who has not yet retired, and second, everyone will have a unique perspective on the subject.

National Center for Biotechnology Information , U. PLoS Comput Biol.

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You know a field is maturing when its early proponents think about retiring or, alas, pass away. So it is with computational biology.

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7 rules dating my daughter

The first season focused on Paul being left in charge of the kids after Cate takes a full-time job as a nurse, with comedic emphasis on his often strict rules concerning his daughters and dating. Bruce Cameron. While 8 Simple Rules was renewed for a second season and production had begun, Ritter's sudden death in September left the series in an uncertain position. After a hiatus, the series returned and continued without Ritter, with the producers having decided that his character Paul would also die. The third season after Ritter's death took a creative turn, revolving more around cousin C. David Spade and grandfather Jim James Garner , than the immediate Hennessy family, more specifically not revolving around the raising of the Hennessy kids.

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You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Let me elaborate, when it comes to my daughter, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

Have you seen the "10 Rules for Dating My Daughter? I always get a chuckle out of that when it came around!

Do not yet though! G said: Application for dating my daughter below.

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7 rules dating my daughter

Once upon a time, callow young men almost always met their dates' dads. This ritual vetting was an important part of protecting the human species from random romantic mistakes. As a new boyfriend, you'd rather get your skull drilled than meet your date's old man for the first time, yet meet him you did. You'd throw your shoulders back and wipe your clammy paw against your sweater in anticipation of his too-firm handshake. In most cases, it was like shaking hands with a smiling canned ham.

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Copyright W. Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? My motto: I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you?

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