Jewish dating beliefs
Inspired by millennia of tradition and guided by the eternal teachings of the Torah , Jewish communities have developed a unique pattern of courtship and dating. The process is goal-oriented, beautiful and respectful. Read more. What is the minimum age for a girl?? Can we make it simple, Jewish gentleman seeks eligible nice Jewish girl. Such Wisdom Spoken from Learned Rabbi's!
What Jews and Christians Should Know about Each Other: An Important Primer on the Two Religions
In Jewish law , sex is not considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer ra the evil impulse , it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer ra. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled, satisfied at the proper time, place and manner. But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah.
Sex is permissible only within the context of a marriage. In Judaism, sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. It is an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility. The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense of commitment and responsibility. Jewish law also forbids sexual contact short of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, recognizing that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse.
The primary purpose of sex is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. The first and foremost purpose of marriage is companionship, and sexual relations play an important role. Procreation is also a reason for sex, but it is not the only reason. Sex between husband and wife is permitted even recommended at times when conception is impossible, such as when the woman is pregnant, after menopause, or when the woman is using a permissible form of contraception.
In the Torah , the word used for sex between husband and wife comes from the root Yod-Dalet-Ayin, meaning "to know," which vividly illustrates that proper Jewish sexuality involves both the heart and mind, not merely the body. Nevertheless, Judaism does not ignore the physical component of sexuality. The need for physical compatibility between husband and wife is recognized in Jewish law.
A Jewish couple must meet at least once before the marriage , and if either prospective spouse finds the other physically repulsive, the marriage is forbidden. Sex should only be experienced in a time of joy. Sex for selfish personal satisfaction, without regard for the partner's pleasure, is wrong and evil. A man may never force his wife to have sex.
A couple may not have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling. Sex may never be used as a weapon against a spouse, either by depriving the spouse of sex or by compelling it. It is a serious offense to use sex or lack thereof to punish or manipulate a spouse. Sex is the woman's right, not the man's. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it.
The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife's three basic rights the others are food and clothing , which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah marriage contract. A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations.
In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate. Although sex is the woman's right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband.
A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah. Although some sources take a more narrow view, the general view of halakhah is that any sexual act that does not involve sh'chatat zerah destruction of seed, that is, ejaculation outside the vagina is permissible.
As one passage in the Talmud states, "a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife. Nedarim 20a. Any stories you may have heard about Jewish sex occurring through a hole in a sheet are purely an urban legend. One of the most mysterious areas of Jewish sexual practices is the law of niddah, separation of husband and wife during the woman's menstrual period.
These laws are also known as taharat ha-mishpachah, family purity. Few people outside of the Orthodox community are even aware that these laws exist, which is unfortunate, because these laws provide many undeniable benefits. The laws of niddah are not deliberately kept secret; they are simply unknown because most non-Orthodox Jews do not continue their religious education beyond bar mitzvah , and these laws address subjects that are not really suitable for discussion with children under the age of According to the Torah , a man is forbidden from having sexual intercourse with a niddah, that is, a menstruating woman.
This is part of the extensive laws of ritual purity described in the Torah. At one time, a large portion of Jewish law revolved around questions of ritual purity and impurity. The law of niddah is the only law of ritual purity that continues to be observed today; all of the other laws applied only when the Temple was in existence, but are not applicable today. The time of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends in the evening of the woman's seventh "clean day.
The Torah prohibits only sexual intercourse, but the rabbis broadened this prohibition, maintaining that a man may not even touch his wife or sleep in the same bed as her during this time. Weddings must be scheduled carefully, so that the woman is not in a state of niddah on her wedding night. At the end of the period of niddah, as soon as possible after nightfall after the seventh clean day, the woman must immerse herself in a kosher mikvah, a ritual pool.
The mikvah was traditionally used to cleanse a person of various forms of ritual impurity. Today, it is used primarily for this purpose and as part of the ritual of conversion , though in some communities observant men periodically immerse themselves for reasons of ritual purity. It is important to note that the mikvah provides only ritual purification, not physical cleanliness; in fact, immersion in the mikvah is not valid unless the woman is thoroughly bathed before immersion.
The mikvah is such an important part of traditional Jewish ritual life that traditionally a new community would build a mikvah before they would build a synagogue. The Torah does not specify the reason for the laws of niddah, but this period of abstention has both physical and psychological benefits. The fertility benefits of this practice are obvious and undeniable. In fact, it is remarkable how closely these laws parallel the advice given by medical professionals today.
When couples are having trouble conceiving, modern medical professionals routinely advise them to abstain from sex during the two weeks around a woman's period to increase the man's sperm count at a time when conception is not possible , and to have sex on alternate nights during the remaining two weeks. When you combine this basic physical benefit with the psychological benefit of believing that you are fulfilling G-d 's will, it is absolutely shocking that more couples with fertility problems do not attempt this practice.
The rejection of this practice by the liberal movements of Judaism is not a matter of "informed choice," but simply a matter of ignorance or blind prejudice. In addition, women who have sexual intercourse during their menstrual period are more vulnerable to a variety of vaginal infections, as well as increased risk of cervical cancer. But the benefits that the rabbis have always emphasized are the psychological ones, not the physical ones.
The rabbis noted that a two-week period of abstention every month forces a couple to build a non-sexual bond as well as a sexual one. It helps to build the couple's desire for one another, making intercourse in the remaining two weeks more special. It also gives both partners a chance to rest, without feeling sexually inadequate. They also emphasized the value of self-discipline in a drive as fundamental as the sexual drive.
In principle, birth control is permitted, so long as the couple is committed to eventually fulfilling the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply which, at a minimum, consists of having two children, one of each gender. The issue in birth control is not whether it is permitted, but what method is permitted, and under what circumstances. Birth control is rather clearly permitted in circumstances where pregnancy would pose a medical risk to the mother or her other children. For example, the Talmud recognizes the use of birth control by very young women, pregnant women or nursing women.
However, there is some variance of opinion as to what other circumstances might permit birth control. If this is an issue for you, you should consult a competent rabbinic authority. It is well-established that methods that destroy the seed or block the passage of the seed are not permitted, thus condoms are not permitted for birth control. However, the pill is well-recognized as an acceptable form of birth control under Jewish law.
I have also heard some say that a condom would be permitted under Jewish law to prevent the transmission of AIDS or similar diseases, because preserving the life of the uninfected spouse takes priority; however, I am not certain how authoritative this view is. Jewish law not only permits, but in some circumstances requires abortion. Where the mother's life is in jeopardy because of the unborn child, abortion is mandatory. An unborn child has the status of "potential human life" until the majority of the body has emerged from the mother.
Potential human life is valuable, and may not be terminated casually, but it does not have as much value as a life in existence. The Talmud makes no bones about this: But once the greater part of the body has emerged, you cannot take its life to save the mother's, because you cannot choose between one human life and another. Sexual relations between men are clearly forbidden by the Torah. Such acts are condemned in the strongest possible terms, as abhorrent.
The only other sexual sin that is described in such strong terms is the sin of remarrying a woman you had divorced after she had been married to another man. See Deut. The sin of sexual relations between men is punishable by death Lev. It is important to note, however, that it is homosexual acts that are forbidden, not homosexual orientation. Judaism focuses on a person's actions rather than a person's desires.
A man's desire to have sex with another man is not a sin, so long as he does not act upon that desire. In fact, it could be said that a man who feels such desires but does not act upon them is worthy of more merit in that regard than a man who does not feel such desires at all, just as one who refrains from pork because it is forbidden deserves more merit than one who refrains from pork because he doesn't like the taste.
I have seen some modern Orthodox sources suggest that if homosexuality is truly something hardwired in the brain, as most gay activists suggest, then a man who acts upon that desire is not morally responsible for his actions, but I am not sure how wide-spread that opinion is. In any case, it is not quite as liberal a position as some would have you believe: Interestingly, female same-sex relations are not forbidden by the Torah. There is very little discussion of female homosexuality in the Talmud.
The few sources that mention lesbian relations say that they do not disqualify a woman from certain privileges of the priesthood , because it is "merely licentiousness. Rambam asserted that lesbian practices are forbidden because it was a "practice of Egypt" and because it constituted rebelliousness. Jewish law clearly prohibits male masturbation. This law is derived from the story of Onan Gen.
G-d killed Onan for this sin.
Read the rules of the Jewish dating game. The Shidduch: How Jews Date To Anonymous, Age varies depending on community customs, it is common to. This Is a Completely Kosher Personal Development Course Based on Authentic Torah & Chassidic Concepts. Are You Looking for a Step-by-Step Spiritual.
Judaism , monotheistic religion developed among the ancient Hebrews. Judaism is characterized by a belief in one transcendent God who revealed himself to Abraham , Moses , and the Hebrew prophets and by a religious life in accordance with Scriptures and rabbinic traditions. Judaism is the complex phenomenon of a total way of life for the Jewish people, comprising theology , law, and innumerable cultural traditions.
In Jewish law , sex is not considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation.
People who read love stories or watch television programs should realize that while courtship, chivalry, romance and passion do play their separate and respective roles in the dramatic awakening and eventual attainment of satisfaction in love, these are all elements in a process, but they do not by any means add up to the whole of the love experience. Nor is romantic love an end in itself, so that it cannot and should not be accepted in defense of any type of behavior in any male-female relationship which is less than a properly controlled one.
A Jewish Date: insight into the heart
Jump to navigation. From the outset, dating with a Jewish background characteristically has a certain set of priorities. Singles going on a Jewish date value making a lasting bond and are looking for a long-term relationship. The aim is to find a relationship which leads to marriage, rather than only a fleeting connection. Sometimes this can cause additional pressure when going on a Jewish date as there can be several additional considerations at play.
Shidduch: Jewish Dating
For more observant Jews, foregoing foreskin is just one of many rules and customs that govern how and when a couple can canoodle. And while the Torah Part I of the Bible for all you goyem does make certain prescriptions for how and when you get to know each other biblically, certain cultural customs vary between -- and often within -- sects. No matter where they may or may not stand on Christ, fans of the the Old Testament and New join ranks with just about every religious sect by disapproving of premarital sex. Orthodoxy, like Christians, Muslims, and other Judaic sects, dictates abstinence before the covenant of marriage Many of the practices around sex relate back to the principle of modesty, which is big in Orthodoxy. But how and to what you degree you cover up is largely cultural and not so much a matter of scripture. Hair is the perfect example. On the flip side, many Modern Orthodox women let their Jewish locks flow in all their glory. There was an Orthodox man who needed some assistance in passport control, and he asked for help.
The Shidduch Hebrew:
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The Shidduch: How Jews Date
Judaism maintains that the righteous of all nations have a place in the world to come. This has been the majority rule since the days of the Talmud. Judaism generally recognizes that Christians and Moslems worship the same G-d that we do and those who follow the tenets of their religions can be considered righteous in the eyes of G-d. Contrary to popular belief, Judaism does not maintain that Jews are better than other people. Although we refer to ourselves as G-d's chosen people, we do not believe that G-d chose the Jews because of any inherent superiority. According to the Talmud Avodah Zarah 2b , G-d offered the Torah to all the nations of the earth, and the Jews were the only ones who accepted it. The story goes on to say that the Jews were offered the Torah last, and accepted it only because G-d held a mountain over their heads! In Ex. Another traditional story suggests that G-d chose the Jewish nation because they were the lowliest of nations, and their success would be attributed to G-d's might rather than their own ability. Clearly, these are not the ideas of a people who think they are better than other nations.
Studies have shown that most Jewish people today would like to marry other Jews. Yet studies have also shown that most Jewish people today do not end up marrying other Jews! After many years of research in the field, Ive come to the conclusion that it boils down to one thing: Once they see it as important, they'll do a few easy things that will make it happen. So why is it important to marry other Jews? Obviously the ultimate reason is the Torah itself. The best way to stop intermarriage is to turn Jews on to Jewish ideas and life and visiting this site is a wonderful way to do it.
The Jewish fear of intermarriage
Even if a couple has decided on a particular religion for the family, and even if one or both partners are non-religious, it is important for each to appreciate the religious background of the other, which often is the religion of in-laws and other family members. Although Judaism and Christianity share common history, teachings and values, they are two distinct religions, with different beliefs and rituals, particularly holiday and life-cycle observances. The following observations can help begin the learning process. Neither Judaism nor Christianity is a monolithic religion. While to an outsider the differences among Jews or among Christians might seem small, they can be significant. Within both traditions there is a great deal of variation in belief, practice and values. Whereas Christianity is a religion, Judaism is—in many ways—more than a religion.
The Truth About Jewish Dating
There are no exceptions. If you are female, your soulmate is male. You may be attracted to people who are not Jewish. You might be attracted to someone of the same gender. This is not any one person's opinion. Let the personality of the person you are meeting unfold. A person's nervousness can mask his or her true qualities. Don't have any expectations on a first date.
May 17 12 Iyar Torah Portion. Instead of being supported and encouraged, so many Jewish singles are made to feel excluded and unworthy. Shifting your view of marriage from an opportunity to take to an opportunity to give. Hold on to what's important and let go of the super detailed image you have in your mind. Creating and adapting positive relationship habits that will increase satisfaction and stability in your relationship.
The process whereby a man and woman meet, become acquainted with each other and decide whether they are suitable for each other, is not only common sense — it's actually mandated by Jewish law. The Talmud stipulates that it is forbidden for a man to marry a woman until he meets her and she finds favor in his eyes, and a woman is not to be married until she is mature enough to make an intelligent decision with regards to her proposed husband. The prospective bride and groom must meet beforehand and both must be fully comfortable with each other and must give their full consent to the match. That said, according to Jewish tradition, dating plays a very specific role. Dating is viewed as a serious matter and is not intended for entertainment purposes.Atheists, Christians, Jews, and Muslims on Beliefs - Dirty Data - Ep 5 - Cut