Dating someone eight years older than you
As of now, your dating life may not have expanded much beyond your year in college, peers at work, or the parameters you've set for yourself on Tinder. But if you're unhappy with your current dating pool, or feel stuck or misunderstood, it could be a sign you're meant to be with someone older. Going up a few or many years on the dating scene will not only expand your options, but it might even introduce you to someone who feels like a better fit. Keep in mind, though, that age isn't everything. Joshua Klapow tells Bustle.
Dating a guy 9 years older quiz
When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible. People raise their eyebrows at relationships with a significant age gap: Power, and the transmission of knowledge, are inherently erotic.
I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? The Older Man was a peculiar person. For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg. For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books. Dating up had its perks. He also taught me what a k was. It was like an apprenticeship for life.
But while the daddy vibe had longevity in bed, in life it got old pretty quickly. Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant. He controlled the relationship, at least superficially. I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. Like, I want to want you, not rely on you. We also had different ideas of what qualifies as fun. On weekends, he wanted to get up at 7: I wanted to take ketamine and lie on the floor in public.
So that was an issue. He would come once, and then pronounce his dick out of commission until tomorrow. I was like. What are we supposed to do all day? When the Older Man and I eventually ended it, I chalked it up to the age gap. But in hindsight, I think we might have just been incompatible. Realistically, the proverbial conflict of horse tranquilizers versus fresh produce can happen in any relationship, regardless of age.
I wanted some insight on age gaps, so I called my friend Chelsea Fairless, a year-old designer and one half of beloved IG account everyoutfitonsatc. Previously, she seriously dated someone 27 years her senior. Somehow I just ended up here. But Chelsea says there are benefits to a generational gap. She also keeps me in the know about who the new cool rapper or cool model is, which I no longer have the energy to figure out by myself.
Often younger people have less queer trauma. And then you have to deal with all the haters. Age-gap relationships come with a certain amount of stigma, and that external skepticism can start to infiltrate your couple. The age thing definitely freaks people out. People would shout stuff at us on the street, or mistake her for my mother, which always totally weirded me out. Also, there are physical realities. But her biggest anxiety is longevity. A novelty fuck, if you will.
While it was an ego boner to be desired by someone with eerily smooth skin who wanted to fuck nine times a day, it also shined a light on my own stupid, petty insecurities. I would love to be the person who introduces that to you, anxiety-free! But, as the memes say: With power comes responsibility. But imbalances are inevitable—whether it be age, attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, success, family, mental health, IG followers, et cetera.
But people bring different things to the romantic table. Phone Addiction? All rights reserved. Most Shared. Facebook Pinterest. In This Story: Breathless , First Person. Facebook Twitter. Recommended For You. Sign up for Newsletter.
The 8-year rule states that you shouldn't date anyone outside of an 8-year age range. people can successfully date with an age gap of more than eight years. I've dated (or tried to date) women who are older, younger and, if you'll simply missing someone's references doesn't make you a bad person. So if you're dating a guy quite a few years older than you, you'll be relatively at the same You're looking for someone to spend your life with.
Are you dating an older fellow or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Well, my dears, you've come to the right place. I'm dating an older man, you know. Oh yes, it's quite thrilling. I'm an expert on the topic.
Dating a guy 9 years older quiz O. Take this quiz and test how well you know the EXO members.
Some sexual fantasies are better left unfulfilled. Take threesomes, for example:
Things You Should Know Before Dating An Older Man
New merch: Man eight years younger than woman. Will this work? December 7, Will this work for us? Do you know any couples like this?
Why Dating Someone Older Isn’t Always Such a Bad Idea
Multiple studies suggest the key to a long and prosperous life is not eating beets and drinking sad green juices all the time, but rather something much more enjoyable -- dating younger women. It's for your health, after all. Hold onto your dicks, my dudes. One of the woes younger women tend to deal with when it comes to dating are men playing games with them. You also need romance and intellectual passion to keep the spark alive. Depending on your age I'm looking for a certain level of maturity, someone I can learn from, someone looking to have a long-term relationship, and someone that knows who he is. Don't try to pressure me into it marriage, children, etc. We like going out and doing things, so you better be ready to get that ass moving!
Let me explain:
First of all, I don't doubt your love for a second. At the same time, I am reading between the lines of your letter:
The DOs and DON'Ts of Dating an Older Man
When it comes to age differences, people get a bit awkward. It can be a very taboo subject when you tell your parents or relatives that the person you're with is a few years older-- let's make that eight years older, to be exact. Initially, it can be very uncomfortable. If you think about it though, after high school, age really doesn't matter. Age is only a number; a number of years that you've been alive. It doesn't necessarily define anything else about the person. The saying about guys maturing slower than girls is true, unfortunately. So if you're dating a guy quite a few years older than you, you'll be relatively at the same maturity level-- he may even be higher than you a this point! Being older, you generally are more aware of exactly what you want in life. You're looking for someone to spend your life with.
11 Signs You Should Try Dating Someone Older Than You
The 8-year rule states that you shouldn't date anyone outside of an 8-year age range. It can happen. I just won't try it any more. I've dated or tried to date women who are older, younger and, if you'll believe it, exactly the same age as I am. Seriously, she was born on the same day and same year. If that's not an easy conversation opener, I truly don't know what is.
Here Are The 10 Most Important Rules Of Dating Younger Women
When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible. People raise their eyebrows at relationships with a significant age gap: Power, and the transmission of knowledge, are inherently erotic. I wonder:
I'm Dating A Guy 8 Years Older, And It's Amazing
But then again, what relationship is ever easy? Image Source: I know a woman who dates an older man, and he jumps from profession to profession while trying to make a career in music take off. Early on I used to have a fit every week about what he could do to make more time for me, but at a certain point, after some compromising, you end up just trying to be supportive and patient. Especially if those things are free. Like I said, if you allow it, things can get pretty dull. While I love me some him, my partner has no problem with chilling indoors all day, catching up on his taped shows and eating the same rice dish every week.
The 8-Year Rule: Why You Shouldn't Date With An 8-Year Age Gap
By Amy Rose Spiegel. One of the most frequent Just Wondering questions we get here at Rookie is some variation on the following: Well, as someone who not only has always been interested in older dudes, but has also dated quite a few of them, I have some things to say about your situation, question-askers. When I was 15, I was dating a year-old cue gasping. That, by the way, is actually a comparison I made at the time, which is so gross to me now. I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl. At 15 I was smart and self-aware.
.I'm Dating Someone 10 Years Older