Dating someone 13 years older than you
It isn't age as much as experience than could make this work or cause you problems. At 20 you are still in the mode of deciding what you want your life to look like. You are ready to experience life as an adult. At 33, we have been there, done that. We just feel more sorted about what we want and what we think life will be for us.
Dating a man 13 years older
New merch: February 18, So I recently started seeing this guy, and I am falling for him quickly. In four dates we've discovered that we are compatible on so many different levels - common interests, chemistry, religious views, sense of humour, values. He's incredibly romantic. I went from just wanting to be friends to wanting to be in a relationship with him.
Here's the thing. I'm On our last date I asked him how old he was That's 13 years older than me. Ok, so now I'm trying to determine the implications of a long-term relationship with a guy 13 years older than me. It's not so much that after 4 dates I think we'll for sure end up together, but my purpose in dating is figuring out who I'm going to marry, so I want to figure this out ASAP.
Here's the background information about us: Prior to going back for his PhD, he taught French for 6 years. He also wants to write. The fact that he is a student and I am working almost reverses things, in a sense. The main thing that is making me uncomfortable with the situation is advice my grandmother gave me a couple years ago She had seen so many women marry into a relationship with a 10 year or 14 year age gap, and then later in life they're limited because their husbands are too tired or sick to do anything.
And that these women feel order than they actually are. I also don't want to be a young widow! When he asked me what difference age makes, I told him it's a matter of being in life stages at different times, as well as what my grandmother said. He brought up the point that he keeps in really good shape it's true and that most people can't run on a treadmill for an hour like he can. He trains in juditsu, and we both love salsa dancing.
When I'm 27, he'll be When I'm 67, he would be What would that be like? I'm not worried about the short term. We have great chemistry and if things don't work in the short term, then it doesn't work out. But I want to decide if age is an issue in the long term now, because every time we see each other we uncover layers of compatibility and we feel more emotionally involved. So if age is going to be an issue I want to stop things now before we both get hurt Also a concern for me is how my career and having children would fit into this.
I've previously toyed with the idea of having children while I'm young and focusing on career while the kids are older. But all that is something that can be talked through in future conversations with him, if we do continue to date. So I'm looking for examples of what a relationship with a large age gap is like, later in life. Thanks all: And being an "old soul" isn't the strongest determinate of compatibility, no matter what your age.
I would slow down if I were you. The biggest problem I foresee is you discovering that you were too young to get involved with someone so seriously right away, and why cheat yourself out of young adult hood like that when it could lead to you feeling resentful of this guy later? I have relatives who've jumped the gun like this.
It's ended badly. Slow down and let go of your desire to know and control everything. Age is but a number, life and people are never perfect, and the only thing at the end of everyone's story is death. I don't think your problem is so much the age difference, but that you guys seem to have very different priorities in life. If you want to settle down, buy a house, and start a family basically ASAP, and he wants to maybe "be a diplomat for the UN" which is not really a thing, maybe?
After he finishes a degree that, I shit you not, can take upwards of a decade to complete. So you're looking at house and kids by He's looking at getting a PhD by 45, and then maybe he'll do this or maybe he'll do that. This is not really compatible, unless you make a hell of an amazing living in marketing and he aspires to be a single dad. The difference between 22 and 35 is a much bigger deal than between 42 and 55, in my opinion. My own parents were 19 years apart, but as a rural conservative, my mother was very like someone of my father's generation for their time and place, etc.
However, as their youngest, I never knew his parents, and he was more like a grandfather; further, the difference or the fact that my mom was about your age when they married contributed to a heck of a midlife crisis when she was in her mids and he fell ill. Everyone is different. I personally am very much for gambling in favor of love. This is the case in my extended family. My aunt does do a lot of caregiving and it does limit her. On the flip side, they are very happy together and very much in love.
You just never know. As a mids woman, I wonder more what this year-old wants with a year-old. Why does your life experience and maturity level match his so well? Yeah, I wrote this and thought "this is not coming out right I've figured out who I am, I've travelled, I've dated different types of guys, I've started my career, and so I feel ready to settle down, if I meet the right person. I have by no means decided that I want any kind of long term relationship with him. At the same time, I'm not thinking "Yeah, I'm just messing around in a short-term fling".
That's why I want to know if the age gap would cause issues. I'm more concerned right now with figuring out if he ISN'T long term material than if he is I definitely agree that the latter takes time. Thanks for feedback. That's it. Oh, you want more? And I definitely was, which was apparent in the fact that ALL of my social relationships are with slightly older people. That said - I was Twenty-two is so young. Even when you get to my age basically 30 you are going to look back at 22 and realize that you were a baby, have changed so much, and now want different things.
This is inevitable, so matter how much of an "old soul" you are. You don't think it's true, but it is, and you can only fully appreciate it via the aging process. I'm excited to see how turning 40 will change my perspective. It's funny and sad because it's more likely to be true. We work on that together by planning our insurances and finances and such so that I am not left a destitute widow or so he's not out in the cold if I get hit by a bus, randomly.
It make me really sad. But I still wouldn't pass up the opportunity to be with him. I know you are. I know it. But please remember - you are There are a lot of older men who like 22 year olds. There are a lot of selfish older men who don't mind disrupting young lives for their pleasure and amusement. And 22 is young; if you were 30, this age gap would bother me less. But, listen - you are You haven't had a lot of relationship experiences. You may not have had a lot of bad relationship experiences.
Some dudes know this. Some dudes will take advantage of this. And you are smart, but you may not have enough experience to be fully aware of how this goes down. I was smart, and ended up in that failed earlier relationship because I didn't realize what was going on. And I got burned, despite my best efforts. Though at the time I thought nothing of an even larger age gap, I know pause and think, "Why does this year-old want a year-old girlfriend? I didn't pause before.
And though I am not a total cynic, I do think there is grounds to pause. I am all for love, and have really never been hung up on some of the age differences that my friends have though odd. That said:
On our last date I asked him how old he was he's That's 13 I am now with a partner 12 years older than I am and we are doing just fine.]. Oct 13 I always seem to date guys between 10 to 20 years older than me, and from my relationships comes Why would you date someone that old?.
But the heart wants what the heart wants, and at some point in your life, you might find yourself with a partner who is significantly older or younger than you. Nothing is guaranteed obviously, and a relationship is more about compatibility than a birthday. But as long as you can be open about your issues with the relationship, it should all end happily ever after maybe. But depending on your own social habits, hearing people say or worse, hearing that they told someone else something negative about your relationship can wear a person down.
I once thought I'd fallen in love with an adorable British Israeli lawyer who started chatting with me while we waited at a crosswalk in Manhattan. I felt an immediate spark, and after we exchanged numbers, we planned our first date without ever bringing up our ages.
Having spent all of my 20s trapped in a damaged relationship, a new relationship situation was simply not on my future agenda. Deeply embedded resentment, daily emotional abuse, and massive financial loss will do that to a person.
He's 13 years older than me?
We all remember when year old Ashley Olsen made headlines for reportedly dating year-old Bennett Miller, the director of Moneyball. And, yes, I know some younger men date older women. Kyle Jones, a year-old Pittsburgh guy, was in the news for having a relationship with year-old great-grandmother, Marjorie McCool. So I am not being sexist. However, this article is about younger women falling in love with older men. And I don't mean a few years older.
7 things that could happen when you're dating someone younger than you
George Clooney and his new wife, Amal Alamuddin, are the talk of the town. What about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who were 16 years apart when they were married? In their defense, I hardly grew up dating or crushing on men close to my age group. I always seem to date guys between 10 to 20 years older than me, and from my relationships comes some of the best memories and experiences. I still get the common response from my friends: Why would you date someone that old? So, the broad answer is this: I have nothing against guys my age; I have tried dating them, but I have constantly come across the following:.
New merch: February 18,
At first, I was like great this is going to interrupt my day completely, my boss told me I had to check on this guy and make sure the work was getting done, etc. It is a small firm and I was the only one there because my bosses had Court that day.
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