Dating herpes reddit

Dating herpes reddit

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I Thought I Had Herpes for Two Years

A few years ago, back when I was regularly trolling OKCupid for dates, I received a message from a potential paramour. He'd been scanning through the survey answers associated with my profile, and one response in particular gave him pause: It wasn't some carefully considered stance on sexual transmitted infections, or grand statement about herpes. For him, however, it was a potential deal breaker: As you've probably figured out by now, my suitor was a member of that vast group of sexually active adults who've been infected with herpes.

The internet was supposed to be transformative for people with incurable, but highly preventable, STIs like herpes simplex virus HSV who wanted to date while being open about their status. There's no question that these sites which have even spawned their own Tinder-like apps are a fantastic demonstration of how innovative online dating platforms can be.

But even as they bring together a number of people living with STIs, they don't seem to do much to improve general education about living with herpes and other STIs. And as a result, people going online in search of connection and support often end up feeling stigmatized, isolated, and more alone than ever. So what does help? Not surprisingly, education, honesty, and openness.

And in the beginning, that seemed to be the case. Hoping to improve her prospects, or at least connect with people in a similar position, Ellie turned to the internet. But despite the promise of community and support, she found that STI-focused dating sites just made her feel worse. And since these sites' only criterion for joining was an STI diagnosis, members didn't really have that much in common aside from their diagnosis, which many seemed obsessed by.

Ellie noted that "it was more of a group therapy site than a dating site. Nothing about it was sexy. Positive Singles markets itself as an open forum for dating, but in practice can feel more like a cliquey support group. More troublingly, the sites seemed less likely to unite people with STIs than to divide them into cliques. Ellie's not alone in her assessment of STI dating sites as a barren, depressing wasteland. This is not to say herpes condemns you to a depressing, dateless existence.

It's just that corralling people with STIs into a corner of the internet, while making no attempt to improve education around the reality of what an STI diagnosis actually means, doesn't really do much to change the situation. MPWH might offer community in the form of blogs and forums, but since much of the content is user-generated, the site's tone is set by panicked people who are convinced they're dating outcasts—rather than, say, a calm, knowledgeable expert there to educate and reassure the site's members that everything is okay.

MPWH staff do contribute posts to the site, but they can be poorly written and full of misspellings, hardly an encouraging sign for site members. As a result, these sites merely serve to segregate people who have herpes from people who don't or don't admit it , further cementing the erroneous idea that a common viral infection somehow makes a person permanently unfuckable—when, in fact, a combination of medication, condoms, and avoiding sex during outbreaks can make sex with herpes fairly safe certainly much safer than sex with someone who blithely assumes they're STI-free.

Not surprisingly, education, honesty, and openness about the topic of herpes. Despite their initial fears, both Ellie and Ann have gone on to have awesome sex with amazing people—none of whom they found by explicitly seeking out other people with herpes. That's the other problem with sites like MPWH: Tinder, duh. It's worth noting that it can take some time to get to the point where you're comfortable dating in the wild with herpes: Ellie found that dating European men, who in her experience are less burdened by cultural baggage around herpes, helped her regain her confidence.

Ann worked through her shame in therapy and is now "really open IRL about my diagnosis which I think has really helped my friends who also get diagnosed. Fundamentally, just treating herpes as the annoying, but manageable, infection that it is can have a huge impact with potential partners. Sign up for the best of VICE, delivered to your inbox daily. The internet was supposed to be transformative for people with incurable, but highly preventable, STIs like herpes simplex virus.

A staff post from the Meet People With Herpes forum. Newsletters are the new newsletters.

The First and Best Online Herpes Dating Website for People with Herpes. % Free to Join Us and start to Meet People with Herpes. You are not. You've contracted herpes from a partner. Maybe It doesn't mean that will never date again and it doesn't mean that you are "damaged goods.

This subreddit is for posting screenshots, pictures, or stories of people who are being way too picky when it comes to who they beg for a relationship or any other matter. Don't incite others to visit the page a given post pertains to. Additionally, refrain from enquiring OP for the underlying source s. Moderators may use discretion to upkeep the quality of the subreddit. Obviously fake or otherwise unsuitable content may be removed.

OK, so the majority of people have it.

As with any sexually transmitted disease, a herpes diagnosis can cause feelings of significant distress and shame. Herpes is caused by a virus called herpes simplex HSV.

19 Surprising Things You Probably Didn't Know About Herpes

When someone links a subreddit in the comments, and it just seems too perfect, you click on it. It's a real subreddit, and has been. For a while. Shouldn't have surprised you, people have always had a sexual fascination with fruit. Or made a page for the same picture of Nic Cage everyday.

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A few years ago, back when I was regularly trolling OKCupid for dates, I received a message from a potential paramour. He'd been scanning through the survey answers associated with my profile, and one response in particular gave him pause: It wasn't some carefully considered stance on sexual transmitted infections, or grand statement about herpes. For him, however, it was a potential deal breaker: As you've probably figured out by now, my suitor was a member of that vast group of sexually active adults who've been infected with herpes. The internet was supposed to be transformative for people with incurable, but highly preventable, STIs like herpes simplex virus HSV who wanted to date while being open about their status. There's no question that these sites which have even spawned their own Tinder-like apps are a fantastic demonstration of how innovative online dating platforms can be. But even as they bring together a number of people living with STIs, they don't seem to do much to improve general education about living with herpes and other STIs. And as a result, people going online in search of connection and support often end up feeling stigmatized, isolated, and more alone than ever. So what does help?

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In short: Any questions about moderator actions must be directed to modmail. Brag posts are allowed. Update posts are encouraged! Contributing members may use throwaways for sensitive topics but must contact the mods from their main account to have the post approved. People who are happily partnered in relationships are also encouraged to participate. Just because you aren't currently dating doesn't mean you don't have wisdom to impart to those who are. Sometimes a different perspective is helpful. This can be done by clicking the edit button above, selecting one of the icons below, then editing in your age or age range. You are welcome to display additional information. Note that not all devices support these icons. Observe proper Rediquette , please.

Dating Sites for People with Herpes Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be

Image via Shutterstock. I used to live above this bar on Dundas Street. One night I was getting home late, a little drunk and very sad. I was in the midst of a mini-breakup and suffering from some acute loneliness, throwing out drunken prayers to the Gods of mirth and madness for absolution. As I was locking up my bike, a woman, clad in leather and smoking a cigarette came up to me and began flirting.

Herpes – Destroying Me Mentally – STD Interviews

Click here. Men of Reddit, Would you date a girl with herpes? I, 19f, just found out that I have herpes. I want to know how likely a problem this will be when I try dating again. I know everyone is different and it will depend on the guy but I just want an idea of how much this will affect my dating life even after the facts.

I was dating a guy, and a week after having sex, I started showing symptoms; so my doctor thinks I got it from him. I was so alone. I was actually changing jobs and moving to another city at the same time I received the diagnosis… I had to tell my mother. I had a few sores show up in the second month, around the time of my menstrual cycle, but because I am aware of having the virus, I feel like there is something wrong down there all of the time. I am probably fine physically, but mentally, I feel like I am having an outbreak every single day. The guy that I was dating at the time was completely fine with it.

In short: Any questions about moderator actions must be directed to modmail. Brag posts are allowed. Update posts are encouraged! Contributing members may use throwaways for sensitive topics but must contact the mods from their main account to have the post approved. People who are happily partnered in relationships are also encouraged to participate. Just because you aren't currently dating doesn't mean you don't have wisdom to impart to those who are.

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