Dating a single black mother

This is a guest post by Shana Swain. Shana is a full-time mother, bartender, and freelance writer. Boiling tears scalded my cheeks as I tried to swallow nausea to brush my teeth. The reflection in the mirror was a stranger. Swollen, bloodshot eyes of this woman looked nothing like the bright, almond eyes of the carefree girl of yore. Her face drooped, her hair was brittle.

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I haven't read every post in your blog but most of what I have read seems to indicate that you feel that sex is pretty much the only purpose of a female? Sometimes this doesn't matter, such as in a casual relationship, but in a marriage, no wife wants to boink the husband that is irritated at her yet still wants to have sex. Men seek women for more than sex. Women want men for money, security, resources What do you expect to happen in this exchange?

Anon, I look the totality of women, not just their sexuality, but I am writing from a male perspective to males. Sex becomes a whole lot more important when someone who has vowed to give herself to you is withholding especially when you are fulfilling YOUR end of the deal or when it is being used as a loss leader or some other manipulation.

The male perspective is interesting so I hope you don't mind if you have a female reading it and offering you an unsolicited female perspective. A huge part of it is making their wife feel valued for who they are as a human being. If a female feels like the marriage is nothing but a business contract, the sexy feelings go away quick. Most people don't get horny about contract fulfillment. I'm a single mom, chose the wrong guy, we were engaged, he broke up shortly after the birth, but now I'm supposed to feel like damaged goods and that he's somehow a hero?

Tony did you fall of the short bus? You did. Go lick some more windows. Anonymous Of course you are: Our "end of the deal" is not in the best interest of any self-respecting man. We are not responsible for making you feel valued as a human You need to make yourself happy and know yourself. People do need to treat each other well, but respect and value is EARNED, not "deserved" because you popped out a few babies because of a drunk night at a party 9 months back.

You're putting on the typical victim outfit, and putting all of this responsibility on men who shouldn't and have no reason to be interested in you or any single mom. Your own lot in life is your own fault, and you are what you are: Damaged goods, and don't give me this "damaged goods" shaming shit Most men don't get horny about contract fulfillment, IE: Hold up, I think any self respecting man would never come near this blog.

I think it's misogynistic and most men on here have probably never had a real relationshio let alone a healthy one. Anonymous you are not damaged goods. You will find someone. And don't buy into this bs. These men are all losers who couldn't even get a real date. Nope, she is totally damaged goods. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. You have to realize O. You are more trouble than your worth. You make bad choices. The guys that would shack up with you are either desperate, or stupid.

Is that really what you want? I don't think your guy is a hero though. He is part of the problem. Both of u messed up your child's life through of your dumb decisions. It's too bad too. This child will probably perpetuate the cycle as well. I have plenty of respect for myself thank you which is why I stear very clear from dumb broads with bastard children. You are absolutely damaged goods. Your attitude is angry to. How blind can someone be? And no - I am not a loser who can't get dates: You are so absolutely damaged goods with a angry attitude because you know it: If a guy honestly likes the girl but has nooooooooooooooo motive to be a step father just casual dating If not wtf are we girlfriends that talk but eventually she will want you to meet her children and when you tell her no that's not what your ready for or want then your a no good scumbag that just wants sex smh Lol, these comments are proceless from the female perspective..

Single moms depend in general on one of two things, tax dollars or child support Whether they married wealthy and rely on child support or married poor and rely on state tax paying dollars, they are leeches. I completely agree. And feedback is always welcome, so thanks. A contract is what it comes down to in a court of law when there is a divorce.

If women marry for "security" and men marry for "sex", a court may deal with one, but not the other. So men lose. There are many men out there who have busted their rears trying to romance a wife and give her a feeling of love, security, and appreciation, who are rejected, because these women know, whether it is in the back of their minds or the front of their minds, that they don't have to do squat anymore and a court will still make the man pay up.

This is getting off track, however. The posting was about why men should not date single mothers. If anyone disagrees with any of the reasons provided, I especially welcome those comments and stories from guys who have lived through this. I am a single mom, a professional, stable work from home single mom. I can provide a lucky man security, a loving home and peace.

I have a lot more maturity, experience and patience to understand what a man needs and how he should be treated. I never asked a penny of child support from my ex. And I don't expect another man to spend money on my kid or on me. I am not a prostitute to sell my body for money. I am willing to give my hear and soul to a man who appreciate my hard work, responsibility and caring nature. At the end of the day, I think no self respecting single mother should even consider dating soulless men like you.

Anonymous, you can say anything you want to. Plenty of women, especially single mothers, have said all sorts of things Damn it, I wish I could find a woman like you. You had me at "a loving home and peace. Anonymous, if you were so responsible and caring, why are you a single mother? However, if he is looking for an actual relationship, than how can he know this is true? Once a man marries a woman and she has his kids, those kids will still come first.

So, the man will eventually no longer be first anyway. Particularly, if he is wanting to live according to Scripture — he is supposed to give of himself as Christ gave of himself for the church. As far as all relationships ending, why even have biological children because they may have to go through some turmoil when the relationship with their mother inevitably breaks down?

There are decent women with children without mental issues. Intact homes can produce children with these issues as well. Not all women are deadbeats expecting a man to support them and their kids. I would never allow a boyfriend to pay for my babysitter. So what? Are you marrying a body or a soul? If you are marrying a body, you are doomed to disappointment as the aging process progresses. Perhaps the woman was misled prior to marriage about what kind of person the man was?

Also, even if she was stupid in the past.. Plenty of people are stupid at age 20 and are much smarter years later. Kids are wonderful. And a lot of work. Not all women want a million kids. There comes a point where she is done. The man has to be doing something to contribute to, or even cause, the divorce. Maybe so, maybe not. Depends on each individual party to the circumstance. Besides, even if the ex-husband is a rat, a real man should be able to handle him. These days, women work and contribute at least equally if not more to the household.

There's absolutely nothing like sitting with my girls, sipping something enchanting and laughing about our dating faux pas. Many of us are. Dating can seem like a daunting task when you're single. 29, a mother of two girls, says social media has changed the dating scene so that.

Inspired by the true life events of today's single moms, the following is designed to be a guide, not a rule book, for those mamas re-entering the dating pool with both bruised hearts and jelly stains on their LBDs. Together we stand. This is the guy who motivates women to leave their husbands. He is unbelievably fit and handsome, but in a sexy, scruffy way that manages to be the polar opposite of your khakis-loving, clean-shaven ex-husband. He probably majored in Physical Education, and he gets by doing small-scale art projects for local coffeehouses.

Dating Entertainment. Couples Dating Lifestyle.

HARD I tell ya! The landscape has changed, but it is still worth your trouble to get cute, dressed up and hopeful to find the love of your life.

What To Expect Dating A Single Mother

I haven't read every post in your blog but most of what I have read seems to indicate that you feel that sex is pretty much the only purpose of a female? Sometimes this doesn't matter, such as in a casual relationship, but in a marriage, no wife wants to boink the husband that is irritated at her yet still wants to have sex. Men seek women for more than sex. Women want men for money, security, resources What do you expect to happen in this exchange?

5 Guys Every Single Mom Should Date

I have seen single black mothers in my life, sacrifice, gain trade certifications, get college degrees, and rise above the stigmatized view of single mothers in society. Because in order to succeed at dating, we have to impress the woman, or conquer her, so that she can choose us as a partner. So politically incorrect to say so, I know. If we push the magic buttons, the door opens. Should you act like their dad, or their friend? I hope you enjoyed this article. Dinner and a movie, dancing or drinks, are no longer a feigned prerequisite if you enjoy someone enough to sleep with him. How ironic that two different life choices and paths would lead me to the same status; that of a black single mother. The fact she chose to make babies with an irresponsible moron before she or he could afford them is her fault, not your fault.

Browse our service include white mothers who refuse to be. Everyday i can retire well- a 'dad' role you're not ready for the black women.

Now that more single mothers are entering the dating scene, you may have considered what it would be like to date a single mom. A single mother can be either divorced or a single mother by choice. In either case, dating a single mother can be somewhat tricky.

4 Dos and Don’t to Date Single Mothers

There are some things on my mind lately. I have a fascination with the topic because I think there are two schools of philosophies on it. From my experiences with talking to some single moms, either nothing really changes in how you choose to date men, or whomever you choose to date is taken a lot more seriously. Once I made this distinction, I began to wonder what having a child represented to all the moms who date. Maybe I should have surveyed some single mothers to add real answers to this post. Is getting pregnant a wake up call for some? Is the reality of single parenting more of a harsh reality for some? Does that revelation cause one to take how they date more seriously? Do other single mothers judge women who have kids but still continue less strict dating practices? My curiosity stems from me being a single man who has gone out on dates with different single mothers through the years. I always find myself wondering what is expected from me in regards to dating. Would that cause things to get deeper than I want too quickly?

“Don’t cry for me, I’m a black single mother”

This piece is dedicated for Black men in America who have no children but who are either considering getting into or are currently in a relationship with a single mother. Its purpose is not in any way meant to take a stance on the state of single motherhood in America. The piece is written from a cultural standpoint by a Black man for Black men. My own experiences in combination of the countless stories from other Black men give me a foundation to write on this topic, so I invite you to allow me show you the need for this matter to be discussed. To begin, being a single mother is a circumstance, much like any other circumstance in life.

5 Guys Every Single Mom Should Date


My Curiosity With A Single Mother Who Is Dating




Brothers don't date a women with kids unless you are comfortable sharing her with other me
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